Life Imitates Life

After seeing a little red fox last night, I realized that it had no fear of us, and for the first time in ages, I felt like all the bad things that are constantly happening may eventually even themselves out.

Balls Of Goo!

Chandra doesn't like sticky balls in her hair but she does love to throw them against various materials to watch them slowly ooze off!

I Lost My Head Again

Around nine o'clock tonight, I realized that it was Thursday and not only have I not done this week's homework but I've been neglecting my blog.

The Clock Never Stops, Never Stops, Never Waits

The past feels closer than the present and it is getting more and more noticeable every day.

Can Humans Do What Prophets Say?

I feel that I was born to live a life of great purpose, but the thought, "Is this all there is? Is this truly what I was set forth to accomplish?" only strikes me when I am doing nothing at all to work towards that end result due to lack of motivation or lack of time.

It's The Rarity That Makes Them So Precious

Kind words, freely given and with no underlying intention, are often the most piercing and far reaching of them all.

Why Do They Hate Our Mother Earth?

At work, I always ask people if they need a bag today because I feel that it is important to conserve petroleum products whenever possible and it frustrates me to no end when healthy people demand a bag for a single item (doubly so when that sing item is a magazine that is already in a bag!).

But We Cannot Cling To The Old Dreams Anymore

I'm tired of feeling so damn alone in my own home.

I Dig It When You Have A Smile On Your Face

It is truly the small things in life that reaffirm that all is not for naught.

These Things Happen

Dan thinks I'm crazy.

Nothing Really Matters

Little actions cease to matter almost immediately while the more 'impressive' events simply require one to zoom further out from the time line for the ramifications to cease to exist.

It Just Wasn't Like The Old Days Anymore

I'm so afraid of losing everything that which I love that, at times, it leaves me unable to properly function until the thought passes, which makes me feel positively helpless.

Echoes

I often dream of places I've never seen and people I've never met so I frequently wonder why they are calling and how best to answer them.

It's A Sin To Be Fading Endlessly

But what I am to do with this new information?

But It Never Made Sense To Them Anyway

On the way home from work tonight, the Cat Power song "I Don't Blame You" from the album "You Are Free" came on my ipod and it was suddenly as if one part of my consciousness was speaking to another part, "You are free. I don't blame you for not knowing. No one seems to anymore."

They Made My Back Hurt.

I had my first "damn teenagers" moment tonight and I've never felt more old.

Farewell, Dear Friend

Words cannot properly describe the spectrum of emotions I felt tonight when I was oh-so-offhandedly informed that a dog that I've grown up with died several weeks ago and no one had the decency to tell me.

But It's Calm Under The Waves, In The Blue Of My Oblivion

The idea of being the reincarnation of a lost princess of a underground kingdom who must go through various trials and tasks strikes a chord deep within me asking, "Where is my labyrinth?".

Pastimes: Something With Which To Pass The Time

Now for something directly to the point: I hadn't realized how much I missed playing D&D until very recently.

For The Love Of Anything Vaguely Holy, Vagina!

Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina.

Watching and Interpreting

The way his father and step-mother interact, as compared to the way my parents interact is incredibly eye-opening and, in some ways, it makes me very sad.

Apple Blossoms and Snowflakes

This odd cusp of seasons leaves me wanting spring to be here now and yet, I find myself still (simultaneously) holding on to the last hopes of snow.

Mmm...dorkiness!

I'd love to have dinner with Benjamin Folds and Alfred Yankovic and you cannot convince me otherwise.

Good Morning Sunshine!

The absolute best way to wake up is by someone yelling at you about something you thought to be insignificant and because of the way they are ranting on about it makes it impossible for you to convey to them that you understand where they are coming from.

Springing Eternal

I'm still trying to figure out just how you can look at me the same way, after all of this time.

There's This Girl I Can't Get Out Of My Head

I miss my best friend.

Sugar Loaf

My skin smells the way that a child's does after s/he comes inside from playing on a spring day.

I'm Sorry or Tick Tock

Sometimes I worry that he's right about me and I just don't know it yet.

Happiness Is Not A Fish You Can Catch

I've come to the realization that happiness is something that occurs, overwhelmingly, in tiny moments and should be held onto with all of one's might because that is the best, nay, only way to make it through the intermediate times.

Why Is that?

Sometimes the words of others can more accurately describe one's feelings than one's own words.

Manifestations

When you hear a knocking in the bathroom, it's best not to call out to it unless you are prepared for the reply.

We Are Evil And Divine

I need not venture outside of my mind for these things, for why would I wish to leave the livid, fanciful colors and architecture that I have created?

Waiting Room Plants

The plants in my living room make me feel as if I am in a medical waiting room - like I'm perpetually waiting for something and I haven't the faintest idea what that something may be.

I Can't Find Meaning

As I was sitting in the hallway waiting to register for my mini-session classes, Our Lady Peace's Is Anybody Home? started playing and I suddenly felt as if I was sinking through the floor.

Defeatest

I'm always afraid of getting excited about something for fear of it not working out.

Time Management

How ironic is it that I took a job at a bookshop so that I could have money to buy books that I now do not have time to read because of the job that I took to buy the books in the first place?

American Priorities

I cannot understand why America, one of the richest countries in the world, cannot afford to take care of the medical needs of its people.

For Where Have They Gone?

The fear of misplaced thoughts is the driving force behind my fervent obsession with writing.

Bewitched

Only in the 60's would they show a pregnant woman drinking martinis on television.

Ever So Slightly

There are times, when he is away at practice, I can feel the house move.

Shallow Water

I have been dreaming almost every night about walking in shallow water - be it low tide at the ocean or through a stream - and I wonder what that means.

Transient Moral Debate

As I was falling asleep last night, I thought of the entry that I wanted for the next day but as I made my best effort to commit it to memory, I knew it would be futile, if not entirely against the spirit of the blog.

Dweller on the Threshold

I'm starting to get comfortable at work and that often seems to be the precursor of something dramatic.

Current Events

After being on the phone with my mother for almost two hours, I realized that the void between our respective views of the world is wider than I had previously imagined.

Peter Pan

Not even peanut butter is safe anymore.

REM

My dreams are starting to feel more like reality and the edges of reality are starting to dissolve like sugar into hot tea.

Mother Cloning

When I expressed concern over turning into my mother at some point in my life, my cousin oh so articulately pointed out, "You don't have to worry about it, because you're far too Sarah," I suddenly felt as if sleep would not be avoiding me any longer.

Unnerving

Coming into an unlocked house is particularly frightening when you realize that you have to deal with whatever you find behind that door all by yourself - alone.

Distance

The most helpless feeling comes from not being able to physically be there for someone when they are in need because despite all of the good that can come from text-only communication, it falls sharply short of a real hug.

All The Wrong Reasons

Sometimes I feel like the only reason why certain people in my life love me is because of the things that I can do for them.

Asleep

Happiness is looking around your living room and realizing that everyone is sleeping peacefully in your presence.

Dinner And A Movie

It's quite spectacular how such a stereotypical evening (in theory) can make you feel so much closer to someone that you've known for years, but, perhaps, every truly known until now.

Visitation

To have awoken on this morning to find that Spring has come to visit me brings my spirit aloft and fills it with hope.

Battle or Such Is His Gift To Me

At the end of a day filled with wonderful activities that which fought to keep my mind in the present and away from the abyss, his final smile and words, "Birthday Girl!" were enough to carry me through the night on the wings of hope.

Does It Make Things Any More Real?

Why is it that I often find myself back at this page of my own creation, staring at the words that I've strung together, struggling to ground myself in their supposed meaning?

Birthday

With every passing year my birthday feels increasingly less real.

Frostbitten Flowers

I always feel badly for the flora here because due to the craziness that is Wilmington weather they never know when Spring is truly here, and when it is only Winter masquerading as Spring.

Hugs

A wise woman once said, "The internet is ineffective when it comes to conveying hugs," and sadly, she could not be more correct.

Colors

Here's a cheery thought: imagine the day that we look through our telescopes and discover that our red shift has gone blue.

Retrospective Regret

No one should ever be sick on their birthday, but that doesn't stop me from wishing that I'd taken the (albeit small) gift to her when I was informed that she was feeling better.

Biorhythm

This perpetual cycle of feelings of overwhelming sadness, senseless panic, and irrational happiness is slowly driving me mad - not because of the feelings themselves but because I cannot pinpoint their origin.

Farewell

It is my supreme displeasure, dearest tree, to inform you that you have but one week to remain in our lives and I can but offer you my condolences - the worthlessness of which I am painfully aware.

A Can Of Paint And A Straight Razor

Discussing renovation plans makes everything seem more permanent.

Urges

Sometimes I have this overwhelming desire to cover myself with tattoos - to be engulfed by beautiful art.

Heather's Funeral

I think that her passing was not nearly as painful as watching people that I've grown up with in such pain.